I hope...

I hope that you know that i would sacrifice my happiness for your happiness... i just hope that you havent fallen out of love for me... And that I understand you everytime you are watching whenever we are talking, or reading, or playing, or whatever
I can understand all that. Even though it hurts, im just gonna let you be. Because i know you are happy. I just hope that you know. that im hurting deep down inside. i just dont show it. You know the reason why....

A little hard..

Its really hard just to take it all in... I hate not talking to you. I hate the thought of you going somewhere else without me... I just hate everything that I cant do with you.... It just so hard. I just cant stop thinking about it.

As crazy as it sounds Im madly in love with you. I just dont know how to deal with everything. I know you have things in your life other than me... I get that... I just cant march into every aspect of your life.... What kind of boyfriend would I be? I know I probably already am the worst boyfriend ever. For controlling you and such. But all that was because, like I said, Im afraid to loose you.

I know its not the best decision I probably can ever make.. But its all in the name of love. Im just too damn scared to loose you.. Just know that. And never forget it.

My phobia..

I hope I get to talk to you a lot during this one week vacation of yours..
Becasue i know that your next term would be hard as there would be days that
you would be going home late nights....some even until 9.
Which means that you will reach home by 10...
And whats worse, you'll go to vegan for a whole day or two... maybe even 3....

I just cant take not talking to you for a long time... Or not talking to you in general...
Im scared. Really freaking scared.
Im just too far away from you. We dont have a normal relationship.
I dont want to lose you.. I just really dont...

As much as i want to have you all to myself, i know you have family and school too...
And i have to understand that. As much as it hurts. As much as it kills me...
I'll try my best to understand to the very end.
This would all be easy if I get to see you everyday. I would understand better, and i would be feeling much more secured.

But im not. Its never easy for us. After spending 10 years far from you.. I just csnt spend anymore time away from you...
I miss you so much. More than you'll ever know. Please dont leave me.
Please.... Love me. And only me. Dont love another. Because im afraid to loose you..

I really am afraid to loose you. If i loose you... I'd loose my humanity and my sanity... :(

I LOVE YOU JILLIANNE V. BERTOL. I LOVE YOU TILL THE VERY END OF ME.. ♥

Woh..

Haha. Its been a long time since I've posted something on this blog.

Now in Panama. Going to Orlando, Florida this Sunday! Im gonna go to Universal Orlando(Universal Studios)!!! Haha:D

Well, its a bummer.... The water plant is kinda on repair right now, so the tap water is going on and off and on and off... Its irritating.. Well, at least there is a swimming pool!:D

Lately I cant sleep well. Cuz I every night I think about someone. Well, sorry if you cant sleep at night, too.

Oh well. Guess im gonna change the blogskin. See if there's any new theme..

Adios!

New!

My new laptop! I dont know why but I'm starting to like the colour green.... O.O

Oh well. Its VAIO E Series, btw. Intel Core i5, WITH a 1 GB Graphic Card. $1799.

Good deal, no?

Haix. Today alot of things happened.. Some good, and some bad... Well, mostly bad.

Dont like to talk about it.

OH YA. I had 2 consecutive free periods today!!! Sci(Chemistry) and E Maths.

We were surprised when Mr. Poh, our E Maths teacher, didnt come today...

Because he always comes to school... Ms. Lee too....

Then, after school, went to Tampines Mall. Waited for my mom to come to get this lappy.. Hehe...:) BABOOSH....... :(

Right now, I think I am falling apart...

Cool...

LOL. Look what i found inside my old phone~!

Its a pic from our class chalet last year!

Cool..

OK. Today was fun. English, Chemistry, A Maths and SS was really out of the ordinary...

We were all laughing! Haha... So fun..

Then i went Physics remedial after school. Another fun yet head-killing time:D

After that, saw Ashley, Aloysious, Bryan(Loo and Ong), Brandon, Wei Jie and Kwee Li playing soccer, so i joined in... So tiring. Wanted to play bb after that but decided to go home instead.

OH YAH. And i also went home wif ASHLEY AND BELLARIE,

But we parted ways at Simei MRT..... O.O

HAHA. Sorry Ash and Bell.. Hehe.

Then went home...xD

P.S: Want to have another class chalet??? ^^

Change..

Well, its been a month now since i've posted something on this blog.
School's been packing me up recently, and now the Teacher's Day concert.
For now, i could still cope with the homeworks and the duties i have.
But now that my father's flown off to Panama, I kinda need to adjust.
That means, i cant go to my CCA, and i also have limited time for the Student Council.This sucks.

Speaking of which, the council is in a mess right now. I dont really have much choice but

to help out, especially with the organizing the Teacher's Day Concert.

The council is getting big.. But there are only a few of us...

What to do, what to do...

Oh yah, i changed my blogskin. I know it looks kinda "gayish" but i think its nice.

Hah...

Finally got my costume for NDP 2010. The pants is big. Gotta alter it. Heh..

The trainings and the rehearsals are getting better by the week. Although its kinda tiring.

><

Well, i gotta end here now. My body is aching...

Change is needed to cope with the situation

So fast?

Wow.. The holiday is passing by so quickly. Its already the second week...

Well, the only free time that i have this holiday is the third week, which im gonna use to do all my homeworks, etc.

Haiz... Too much activities this holiday.

Its already June.... zzz. The next thing you know its already EOY..

Whats this????

Anyways i might not take my O-level. Cuz im migrating abroad.

To.... Panama, South America. I'll get to learn spanish and study at an American school.

Cool... :P My father got posted there. O.O

"Holidays"

Finally! Schools are over! For the June Holidays at least.

Its been a long time since I've blogged. I was too lazy and busy.

Busy not playing computer games, no no no. Busy cuz i was playing guitar,

and playin PSP. HAHA.

But oral is next monday. And there's a camp on 4 and 5 June.

Plus there is A Maths remedial on 3 and 4 June, and E Maths remedial on the 7 and 8 June.

Plus there is camp on 18 to 20 June. Its an overseas Church camp.

Haix. So sian. Must pay more attention to my studies.

Tmr going out again for NDP training. So sad.

One by one ppl are going out. First it was Hazwani.

Then it was Daniel. Now Ridwan.

Now left with Aisyah, Amirah, Adam and me.

Bye ppl*

Even the smartest person in the world would go gaga over a person when love stikes them:)

OVER!!!! (well, almost)

WOHHOOOO!!! Exams are finally over!! Well. The most hardest topic, anyway.

But, here are my chances on my paper:

English: Average/Pass

E.Maths: Average

A.Maths: Fail/Average

Sci(Chem): Average/Pass

Sci(Phy): Fail/Average/Pass

Geography: Fail

Social Studies: Fail/Average/Pass

DnT: To Be Confirmed...

Sian.. Monday still got exam....--.-- Hope can pass all my Test^^

Nightmare...

EXAMS ARE COMING UP! OMG. I don't know what to do. I have been revising for 1 month plus and i just cant get my head into it. Its like im occupied with something else. It has been distracting me-.-

Well, its a normal day today. First, in the morning, Adam was supposed to take the pics of the foreign students while their on stage. But, he passed it to me..... LOL. His reason was that his hand was too shaky. So funny. We had to walk here and there because we thought it was already finished. Hahas.

Then E.Maths. Nothing much except we finished our last worksheet for Congruence and Similarity. Then SS. I got 21/25 for my class test. LOL. Didn't expect that to happen. Haha. Then comes Geography. Damn. We had a class test today. We don't even understand a thing. Its like when we saw the paper, most of us are thinking,"OMG. Fail Already..." HAHA.

Then DnT. We did some revision for MYE. I did not know, that there is a Mid-year exam paper for DnT! I thought that subject was not testable in normal syllabus. ZZZZZ...

Then FT. Well, it supposed to be, again. BUT, our form teacher did Physics. Most of us were like so called "dead", because most were sleeping. LOL.

Oh well. Another tomorrow. There's another tomorrow, but i cant have something... WHY?????

"GREAT DAY!"

Wow. Today was the "BESTEST' day i ever had. Here's why:

♥Got a "beautiful" talk with Mrs. Ho this morning about last Wednesday event. BECAUSE someone made noise. Which ruined my whole mood for the day. JUST LIKE YESTERDAY.

♥Then, after school, i lost my bag. -.- Some NPCC person took it. Lucky it was not lost. I prayed to God. Thank You. Amen.

That made my day today. I Love Today. TGIT = Thank God it happend today.

Sian....

What the freaking hell.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING THAT IT WILL HAPPEN???!!!

ITS VERY IRRITATING!!!!!

SOMEBODY KILL ME NOWWWW!!!! >:C

I HATE THIS!!!

What a Day...

Last night i had a beautiful dream. So beautiful that i didnt want to wake up. But then i had to.

I thought it was gonna be a nice day and im gonna be happy.Guess wad. I thought WRONG.

I heard something this morning that changed my mood for the whole day. After hearing that,

I was taken aback. I told myself it was only a dream. And dreams dont come true for me.

Now im pushing it all behind and move on.

Instead of moving on i refuse to see. That keep coming back. i know that it wont ever happen. Cuz its not meant to be. What a joke. Hmph.

Well, today i had SS class test. I almost didn't finish it but i was just in time. Went home straight after it even though my school hasnt ended yet. Its because of mother tongue. Its the last period of my day and im not gonnaspend it in the library while the rest of the Sec 1, 2 and some 3 classes can go home.

Sigh......==

Today was a day that is horrible for me. And im feeling horrible.

And YEAH! WEI QUAN HAS A BLOG. LOL. He created it out of boredom!

Go check it out and leave a tag at his blog!

The link is just right down my my Link Tab.

Today i have no mood in playing and doing work seriously. i just cant bring my self to play

properly and do my homework. in other words, i feel so sian...==

Oh well. Gonna search for song now.^^

....

never post for so long. so lazy.

Nvm. Now that exam is coming, im starting to feel hyper. Cant stop doing all my homework.

Oh well. At least i dont play the same games all the time. Found a new game to play. And thats Command and Conquer: Zero Hour. Hahas. Got it from Arthur. Now me, art, isk, wq, damian and maybe zl have . Then we can play 3v3. Let the war begin!

LOL. Im being lame, i noe. but now i dont know why but i suddenly got Arthur's syndrome. I suddenly started looking for chio bu + cute girls. -.- Now, i even find _____ cute. LOL.

Sigh. Homeworks are pouring up. They just keep coming and coming and coming like a horde of charging bulls. What a drag.==

i dont know why but im starting to do all my homeworks. Well, most of it. Guess i just dont wanna repeat Secondary 3. Although...... i could be with ___. hehe... But no. I must not. In your face, Temptation!!!! Ha! You cant get me now. LOL. So random.

Hmmm.... i wonder... When can i play C&C again?

End Of Speech Day!

LOL. I noe speech day ended last friday. But i dun care.

Being an EMCEE is a tough job. So stressfull. But its ok though.

In the end, we got a Starbucks voucher.

After the speech day, took lots of pics.

Then, i went to eat at long john with Nat and Hil.

Nat got hyper after speech day. Hahas. Dunno why.

Oh well. After eating at LJS, saw some of my primary sch frens.

Ate again at banquet. So full..==

Reached home at around 9+.

Still need to do homework. :/

A maths has 2 homeworks, and E maths has one.

OMG. ZZZ.

At least its gonna help me. But its so stressfull!

WTF???!!!!

WTH... This week is TOO tiring!

Havnt been this tired since... since I trained for competition. LOL.

Today was damn irritatin. Mr. Poh came today. His first lesson with us. Quite fun. Haha^^

Homeworks are so damn lot. ESPECIALLY A Maths. 1 THICK worksheet. ==

After rehearsal, Nat has gone wild. She became siao. Its unexplainable. Haha..

I cant even stop laughing:D

Oh yah. To the people who keep asking me: IM ALREADY OVER THOSE PEOPLE!

Geez. For crying out loud! Stop asking already. -.-

Still have to do my A Maths and E Maths homework. Which is needed to be passed up tomorrow

WOW... Oh well. I have no choice but to do them... Which is now...

Bored....

LOL. Nvr post for so long already..... Again... zzz
Too lazy again. Haha. Now is the start of term 2. Second day.
Its not actually what i thought it would be. Things changed.
Especially the timetable and TEACHERS.

Yesterday first period was Combined Chemistry. I was wondering who is our new teacher, since Mrs. Nura left. Then, when i entered the class, it was Ms. Mary Lee. I was relieved. Hehe... Then so on and so forth... BUT. OUr new FORM TEACHER is MR. HONG!!!! TOO shoCKED!

LOL. Nvm... I promised myself i would do better for MYE. But then the temptation of slacking is at all time high. Help MEEE!!!!==
Then today's DNT was fun.. I almost finished my model! Haha.. Nxt week it WILL be done.
Oya, our new AMaths teacher is Ms. Gina. Cool. Cuz Mr. Loke is resigning. So they say.. Aww.. :( And our new EMaths teacher is Mr. Poh. Yeah:)

Now downloading songs.. Sad... But i cant shake the feeling that i havnt let you go... Its been a year already... zzz... But, class is always fun. :)

Zzz..

Common Test is over. Sigh.. Nothing already. Feeling so empty now...
Oh well. Life seems to be back to that freaking hated life that i had...==
This Sunday gonna go out to go fly kite. Dont feel like going actually. But then i realized that i cant stay in the house forever. Nothing to do anyway.

Nothing to post anyway..zz... Now bored. No mood in doing anything...
i Love you goodbye....